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..........past the midnight..........
when the clock stops....
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5th-Sep-2014 09:21 am - The thing is
you know nobody likes depressed person
you know getting more depressed over everything is just not gonna fix anything
you know that's why people left you

but you were waiting for a hand to reach out
you were not strong enough to fight it yourself
but people have their own problems
and they won't be selfless enough to care about you
in the end you have to do it by yourself

but how to battle it
how to defeat the final boss

the past is haunting
regrets, grief, blame, guilt etc
just pretend you had an amnesia and forget them all
forget everything
you are someone new nobody knows
16th-Jul-2014 04:30 pm(no subject)

while the new blog is still under construction, lemme post some of my thoughts here

lately pikir nak bisnes je
I wanna be independent
I wanna be able to repay everything
sejak takde scholar ni, byk susahkan family
mesti lah diorg kata takpe
tapi hati sendiri tak senang

bila camni start la nak marah kat diri dulu
camne leh depressed teruk sgt dulu
bende dah lepas
dulu kemain plan simpan duit nak invest
plan itu ini
last2 depressed tah ke mana pegi
wish I had realized my problem sooner
tried to act strong, poyo
tapi last2 pikir lebih2, takut macam2
last2 lari dari dunia
serius susah nak panjat balik lubang tu

skang bertambah2 problem, padan muka
study, duit, hati

who've guessed someone who was an excellent student back then
would end up like this?
stupid expectations of the world

masalah hati...
kenapa la masa ni
kenapa la nak tambah susah
something that can motivates/supports me at these times
end up being the most annoying problem
I should just pretend that you're dead
kalau lah bole padam memories mcm dlm Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless MInd

2nd-Jul-2014 10:23 am(no subject)

I never asked for more
I never demanded much
I never wanna give trouble
even when I was in the darkest time

I gave my trust
Believed in the future

I may not given much of materials or actions
I've been holding back from giving a lot
I thought you needed all the freedom
until the right time comes

Waited for that time patiently
I always believe that things can be worked out
cus I can accept, I can adapt, I can change
but why won't you try?
to make that 'forever' true

and this is the end?
perhaps I should've never bothered in the first place

25th-Jun-2014 10:50 am - Last one

It seems like I have forgotten about this old blog of mine for years. Probably after I met Twitter, where writing your thoughts of the moment is made easier. Forgotten how awesome it is to write unlimitedly on a blog.

And it was right when I have a huge stress with my housemate that time. I guess it was a turning point of my life. Where I started to lose sight of myself. When ranting on twitter might make it felt better, but it's not a good thing.

Lots and LOTS have happened these past years. Years where I've been trying hard to be someone else due to surrounding pressures. Full of regrets now when I finally realized that there's no need for me to change and fit in back then, just be myself. I have lied a lot to myself and my friends.

One last post on this LJ, and I'll make a new blog to start over again. Still thinking of staying with LJ or change to blogger or wordpress. Just for myself to keep in track of my life again anyway.
So goodbye and yoroshiku old me, I've learnt a lot from you.

23rd-Dec-2010 11:49 am - sometimes..
..we just need to move on :)

thinking of the past
how everyone's changed
and how we have grown up.

there are times when we were strong
and times when we were weak

random post XD
just wanted to update my lj

Densetsu no Yuusha no Densetsu has ended :(
I've cried. lol
so awesome <3

how's everyone? :)
12th-Dec-2010 06:56 pm - lalala~
goodbye Autumn, hi Winter.
it's getting colder here. fuuuhhh TwT

I feel like I should update more about my life here, showing places I've been and all. ;( I'll try. My life is so unorganized. I think I spent 50% of a day in my life with sleep. lol *gets shot* XD and since it's getting colder, that percentage might rise..*gets shot again* heheh...

okay! school stuffs~I think I said before that my university is tri-semester, different from other universities which usually have 2 semesters. 2nd semester just ended at the end of November. After a 5 days of autumn break (lol 5 days), the 3rd semester begin on the first of December. Yeah, busy again. :( But, this semester is not as busy as before ;) my classes ends at 11.25 a.m on Friday! Yeay for longer weekend! xD lol maybe will go somewhere~~ (too lazy to work on art trades..*gets kicked by other artists*)

I need to be more organized....T_T oh...how easy it is to change from normal to bad, and how hard it is to change to a better person. :( the results for 2nd semester are gonna be out soon..T_T idk. :( :( :( I wanna do better this semester . *sobs*

yeah, see ya later. XD
i can't wait for winter break! weee!

*ends of random entry* XD

3rd-Dec-2010 01:42 am - random stuffs about midnight anime
one thing i realized (as an otaku lol)
midnight anime always have high quality animations and nice OP/ED. xD

//lame advertisement//

i need to sleep now to wake up later at 2.45am (Tokyo time) to watch Densetsu no Yuusha no Densetsu while studying Senkei Daisuu (Linear Algebra).

Yesh! my latest obsession : Densetsu no Yuusha no Densetsu (The Legend of the Legendary Heroes)
the title is kinda lame,but the plot is really interesting ( the first few episodes are a bit lame though, it'll get more interesting later XD )
images: the characters, then the berserk Ryner who kills everyone, and normal Ryner lol

If you like Lelouch, I'm sure the main character , Ryner will reminds you of him. cuz his Seiyuu is Fukuyama Jun XD and his power is also related to his eyes.
comedy + adventure +some bloody gores

based on a light novel with the same name
I bought the 1st volume but hardly have time to read it @_@

can't wait for tonight's episode! *_*

it's ending in a few episodes though @_@ but i'm sure there' will be 2nd season..;)

nite peeps ;)

//end of lame advertisement//

XD <3
6th-Nov-2010 12:05 am - I'm disappointed...
....in myself :(

Lately my lazy self has gained control over me.
being sick last week, made my life unstable.
and this week too, I was too tired and unable to complete my plan.

I need to be more disciplined
I don't want my 2nd semester to end up like my 1st semester.
I don't wanna fail any subjects anymore.
Final exam is just a few weeks to go.

I wanna be a better person.
30th-Oct-2010 10:00 pm - Greed
I am greedy

because I want everyone to have a happy ending

is it even possible?
16th-Oct-2010 12:31 am - 過去の欠片






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